Dunbars, Williams, and Andersons - What is Family?

On the drive home today from drill, I listened to a radio program about the tragic story of three families. Those named in the title. The purpose of this post is to record my thoughts on the matter because I was very touched and moved to serious introspection.

In summary, Julia Anderson (a field hand in North Carolina) had an illegitimate child with Walter Williams (A traveling tinker) back around the turn of the century. Their boy was named Bruce. Julia could not care for the child because of her extreme poverty and so Walter took the child with him as he traveled around the country in his wagon tuning organs, pianos, and performing handyman labor.

Around the time Bruce was 4 years old, Walter encountered Percy and Lizzy Dunbar, a wealthy couple in Mississippi, who's oldest son (Bobby) had disappeared almost one year earlier. Lizzy and Percy claimed that Bruce was their son Bobby, and in spite of dozens of testimonys to the contrary convinced the courts to give them the child. Walter avoided going to jail through a fluke, Julia lost her child and was forced to start a new life.

Fast forward 90+ years, and Bobby (Bruce) Dunbar's granddaughter Margaret starts investigating the issue because of a scrap book her father (Bobby Jr.) gives her. After multiple years of investigation, she and her father decide to perform a DNA test. She discovers that Bobby Sr. is really Bruce Anderson.

This is where it gets dicey. Bruce Anderson had 4 children, all of them had multiple children. The entire time Margaret is investigating their history they oppose her and literally revile her. When she tells them she is going to perform a DNA test they literally tell her they will never speak to her again. She does it and is ostricized from the family.

On the flip side, Margaret gets to know the families of Julia Anderson and Walter Williams and is welcomed into their lives with open arms and hearts full of gratitude for her persistance in discovering the truth.

So here is the question: What makes the family?

Blood?

Choice?

I can't claim the right answer, and would love to hear your thoughts on the matter, but here is what I think.

Blood, places us on this earth. Each of us arrives with a unique history, background, and established order. These conditions can vary greatly, and can change in a heart beat without our input of permission.

Choice on the other hand is the only part of the equation that is uniquely ours. Member's of the family can chose to participate, and accept the participation of others, or not.

I guess I would have to say Choice is the deciding factor, because our willingness to value the blood ties is again our choice. It's messy, and seldom ideal.

In the end though, if a family is the greatest source of hapiness on this earth (and I believe that to be true), I pitty those that make poor choices.

CTR