Fire Butt Soup!

You read that right. Fire Butt Soup.

About two weeks ago, as I sat in the Dr's office pretending to be patient and failing miserably, I picked up a Rachel Ray Magazine thinking I'd find some interesting recipe ideas. Boy was I right. But one recipe out shone all the others, "Mexican Chicken Lime Soup." Here is the Recipe:

2 Tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 Onion finely chopped
6 Cloves garlic thinly sliced
5 Skinless, boneless chicken thighs, cut into 1/2 inch pieces
2 Canned Chipotle Chiles in adobo sauce, finely chopped, plus 2 tablespoons adobo sauce.
6 Cups Chicken broth
1/2 Cup chopped fresh Cilantro
Juice of 2 limes
salt and pepper

1. In a large saucepan, heat the olive oil over medium-high heat. Stir in the Onion and the Garlic, lower heat to medium and cook until the onion begins to brown, about 7 minutes. Increase the heat to high, push the veggies to the side of the pan, add the chicken and cook, stirring until golden, about 5 mins. Stir in the Chipotles and adobo sauce, then stir in the chicken broth. Lower the heat and simmer for 15 minutes skimming any foam. Stir in the cilantro and lime juice; season with salt and pepper.

2. Place 2 avacado slices in a bowl, pout in the soup and top with tortilla chips.

(if you aren't salivating at the idea of this recipe, you and I can't be friends.)

Because of my preferences and a few key mis-understandings I made some changes to the recipe. Here is what I did:

I replaced the chicken thighs with canned chicken (patted dry) so that as it cooked it burned / caramelized the edges to give it extra texture.

I didn't have 6 cups chicken broth (and didn't think to use builla base to make it) so I only used 4

I added a can of black beans (drained), and a can of diced tomatoes with green chiles. (i figured the juice from the tomatoes would compensate...

All of these actions were intentional changes to the recipe

This was my accidental change and ironically enough the reason for the soups alias.

Instead of two canned chipotle chiles, I thought I read 2 cans of chipotle chiles... Turns out there are about 15 chiles in a can. Luckily I mis-read the recipe before shopping and only purchased one can of chiles.

(At this point the recipe is FUBAR)

Anyways, I also failed to chop the chiles and just threw them in whole.

By the time the soup was done simmering, the spicy-ness of it permeated the air. My mother-in-law was ready to have an apopeptic fit at the idea of me eating the soup,

I was commited!

My first bowl (served for lunch) was delicious and spicy. Probably the spiciest thing I've ever eaten. As proof of that, by the time I was done, my face was flushed, sweat glistened off my forehead, and I felt like I'd been through a rigorous workout at the gym...

Again, at this point pride rose up within me and I put the soup in the fridge to be finished at a later date. The rest of the day passed pleasantly and without incident.

The following evening (last night) I reached for the soup for dinner, having spurned the brocolli laden dish prepared for, and generally disliked by all. Apparently that 24 hour period gave the soup time to ferment...

Again I went through the process of cleaning every pore on my face by exuding copius amounts of sweat. Again my body felt slightly betrayed at my prideful behavior, and as I lay down to sleep I began to have second thoughts about storing the soup for future consumption.

Eight hours later I knew the course I must take... After my second trip to the bathroom I was left with a bitter reminder of my pride as my sphinctor burned with a fire I have never known before.

Nor do I wish to know it again.